Things That Make Me a Bad Parent

17 10 2011

A friend recently started blogging (Painter’s Canvas), and her first post was a list of things she does that show her imperfections as a mother, a wife, and a child of God.  It was brilliant!  I laughed many a time, mainly because so many of her thoughts resonated with me and my struggles.

So thank you, Annette, for the idea for my blog post this week:  Things That Make Me a Bad Parent.

We have two boys; Jason is 3.5 and Caleb is almost 9.  Perhaps you can relate to some of these?  In no particular order:

  1. We let our sons watch The Simpsons and King of the Hill.  Caleb could hum the theme song to The Simpsons around age 3, and Jason gets very excited when he hears the King of the Hill theme song because he knows “Bobby is on.”
  2. Our boys might go several days without bathing.  We do sniff them on a regular basis.
  3. Oral hygiene?  Even less regular than bathing.  Caleb is pretty good about brushing his teeth on a daily basis.  Jason is another story.  Some days, he’ll even ask me to brush his teeth, and I’ll say no.
  4. We sometimes count popcorn as a veggie at meal times.
  5. I despise Sesame Street, The Electric Company, Teletubbies, PooBah, and the Wiggles.
  6. I can’t stand reading “The Little Engine That Could,” one of Jason’s favorites.  If Jason picks that story at bedtime, I’ll tell him to have Daddy read it, and I’ll pick a different, usually shorter, story that I will read.
  7. I take pictures of Jason’s sneezes because they are so incredibly epic.  People don’t believe me when I describe them.  Now I have proof.
  8. New iPhones arrive?  Children . . . what children?
  9. Arts and crafts?  Forget it.  I hate play-do, glitter, stamps, ink, markers, and paint.  I can handle stickers.
  10. If you are having a birthday party that involves catered food, bouncy play things, pony rides, climbing walls, or anything else that is going to make my child walk away saying, “I want hot air balloon rides at my next party,” we’re not coming, and I will make up some excuse about a prior commitment.  Thank you for setting unattainable and ridiculously expensive expectations that we cannot reach.
  11. I loathe the idea of goodie bags.  I grew up with the impression that the birthday boy or girl was supposed to be the only one getting goodies on his or her special day.
  12. I detest the practice of giving children ribbons when they finish in 32nd place, or anything past third. 
  13. I find it ridiculous that Caleb will receive a trophy for selling popcorn for a cub scout fundraiser. 
  14. If a playground has sand, I will make up a pathetic excuse why we can’t play there.
  15. On Mother’s Day, my favorite gift—which I will never ask for—is a day to myself, away from my kids, or at least not having to take care of them.  At. All.

I do plenty of things right as well.  I play with my kids.  I pray with my kids many times a day.  I read to them and sing to them and tell them made up stories about the troll who lives in the woods behind our house who guards the golden egg that their friend, the baby dragon, needs to get better.  I teach them about God and Jesus, forgiveness, and how to be kind to one another.  I let them know as often as I can that they are adored and cherished and loved very deeply.  I tell them how special they are to me, what blessings they are to me, and I thank God for them every day.

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6 responses

17 10 2011
Annette

I will consider it a great compliment my friend. 🙂 Thankful for all the intentional and loving things we are committed to as well but also know the importance of being real with ourselves and other mothers. The standards and expectations have made it difficult to avoid feeling doubt, guilt and inadequate. Thanks for making me smile and for all the ways you love your children.

17 10 2011
Tyanne Renee Hill Hire

Great post Kelly. I relate in so many ways!

19 10 2011
Katie Foster

Seems like everybody has to be a winner these days! I hope I can be half a good of a mother as you. You’re situating your sons to have their hearts in the right place. But as the daughter of a dentist, I would stick a toothbrush in their mouths every once in a while though! Haha

23 10 2011
shanksr

When I read the title of this post, I was definitely interested (Mrs. Huddleston?! A bad mother!? Blaspheme!) I went through the whole I-never-want-to-brush-my-teeth thing too, but eventually that goes away. At least for girls…don’t know about boys. If anyone doesn’t believe #7, they can come talk to me. And it’s too bad that the only craft you can handle is stickers…Caleb thinks stickers are “lame” haha. Goodie bags might be my favorite thing in the whole world..to make and receive. #12 and 13 could not be more true. This is the end of my very long comment.

23 10 2011
Kory

I can definitely back you up on Jason’s sneezes, I’ve never seen anything like them. Caleb’s stomach swooshing with water is the craziest thing I have ever heard. Your boys have some very interesting bodily functions.

17 10 2013
gordongra

I see nothing wrong with these things! I believe every parent has their limits. I do need to see Jason’s sneezes. This does sound quite incredible and funny!

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