The Story of Caleb

29 11 2010

“What you see as a curse. . .
you have no idea the blessings I have in store for you.”

God changed the course of my life forever with those few words.
Caleb, my first-born, turned 8 on November 28, and on his birthday, I am always reminded of how he came to be and the miracles God still works today.

All my life, I insisted I never wanted kids. NEVER! I did a lot of babysitting, and that turned me off to the idea early on. Despite the fact that I coached girls in gymnastics and taught high school kids computer classes, both jobs I absolutely loved, the thought of ever having my own children turned my stomach. I enjoyed being around them and teaching/coaching them, but I enjoyed not being around them at home even more. I was arrogant and selfish.

When my husband and I married in 1998, he knew of my extreme lack of desire to ever have children, and he was fine with not having kids either. I never questioned this decision until one life-changing night in January 2002 when I wrestled with God on our office floor.

In the weeks leading up to this night, I felt the stirrings of God challenging me on this “fact” that I held on to so tightly with an iron grip—the fact that I would never want or have a child. A close friend of mine had just experienced a miscarriage, and I was reading a book by Francine Rivers called “The Atonement Child” about a college student who is raped and later finds out she is pregnant. She struggles with whether or not to abort the baby. Through these events and others, the topic of babies was ever on my mind. Not just babies in general, but MY baby, the one I was certain I did not want, but I felt God telling me to accept and delight in. I wasn’t even pregnant at the time.

So on that night, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned for hours before finally getting up around 2:00 a.m. and heading to our office (which later became Caleb’s nursery.) I got down on my knees and prayed and cried and cried and prayed and begged God to NOT make me a mother. I once again insisted to God that I DID NOT WANT CHILDREN! Why wouldn’t He believe me? Why was He pushing this matter? Wasn’t it clear to Him what MY desires were? Didn’t He know that I knew what was best in this situation? That’s when He spoke.

“What you see as a curse. . .
you have no idea the blessings I have in store for you.”

I don’t really remember what happened next or what thoughts tumbled through my mind, but I finally stumbled to bed. After just a couple of hours of sleep, I awoke a completely changed person.

Peace, joy, and excitement flooded my every fiber. In those short few hours, God had completely changed my perspective and transformed my heart on this issue. I was giddy thinking about what it would be like to be a mother. I couldn’t wait!

However, my husband could. He had no idea what had happened, and he still didn’t want children, though he had never been as adamant about it as I was. I prayed that God would change his heart as He had changed mine. I told God I would wait until that happened. In my infinite patience, that lasted two weeks before I shared my experience with him one night. When we woke up the next morning, Matthew turned toward me and earnestly asked if he was dreaming or if we really had this conversation about my change of heart on the “having kids” issue.

No, he wasn’t dreaming.
Yes, God had changed my heart, literally, overnight.

We prayed for a few more weeks about the decision of whether or not to start a family. We finally decided to give it a go, and I was pregnant within the month. Caleb J Huddleston arrived 41 weeks + 1 day later on Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 2002.

For 29 years I thought having children would curse my life. For the past eight years, I experienced tremendous blessing from my sons. I delight in them and adore them. They bring me joy and happiness every day. There are not enough words to express my love for them, nor are there adequate words to express my gratitude to God for his grace, mercy, forgiveness, and patience in dealing with me and changing my heart.

To Caleb on his eighth birthday,

You are truly a miracle and a blessing beyond measure. Your faith in Christ amazes me—so innocent and yet so firm at such a young age. You are so incredibly talented with your art, Power Man and Super Guy comic series, and the dramas you put on for us at home. My heart delights in hearing you sing and watching you on stage. I adore the way you adore your little brother.  I love the way you love your daddy and me.

The verse I chose for you and that hangs in your room is this:
“From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.”
Psalms 22:10

My prayer for you is this:
-that you always love God,
-that your greatest desire in life would be to serve Him,
-that you would grow into a man of strong faith and integrity,
-that you would be a friend to all,
-that you would be a man of kindness, compassion, and generosity,
-that you would be as your name defines you: bold and courageous in your faith,
-that your talents would serve you and others well,
-that you never lose your sensitive spirit and learn to use it to bless others,
-that your weaknesses would become strengths,
-that your wife and children would also be all these things,
-that you and your wife would remain sexually pure until you are married,
-that you and your wife will continue the legacy and raise children who love Christ as much as you.

Love,
Mommy

Caleb J Huddleston

Caleb J Huddleston

 

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9 responses

30 11 2010
miceliale

This is so beautiful; it’s really inspiring that you are so devoted to your son.

1 12 2010
huddlestonk

Thank you Jordyn.

1 12 2010
rodewaldn

Wow. I’m speechless.

3 12 2010
Hunter Schleicher

So sweet! Happy birthday to Caleb 🙂

3 12 2010
fosseer

aw! great story!

4 12 2010
postonj

This is an amazing story Mrs. Huddleston! Caleb is such a sweet boy and you are truly blessed to have him as your son!

5 12 2010
waylandl

This post was so interesting to read. Based on how you speak of your two sons, I would have never guessed that you originally did not want children. I’m glad that God changed your heart and you and your husband were blessed with two amazing children. 🙂

9 12 2010
mistergunner

What an amazing story from a truly blessed mother. Caleb is incredibly lucky.

12 12 2010
chasemor

This is an amazing story. I agree with Malone and I’m glad your kids are such blessings in your life now.

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