Words I Fail to Say

13 10 2010

Hosea 2:19-20 is inscribed on my husband’s and my wedding bands: 

“I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion. 
I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the Lord.”

First and foremost, that is a promise of the way God loves us:  for eternity, justly, faithfully, righteously, compassionately.  Secondly, that is a description of the way my husband loves me and the way I love him, though I seem to fall far short of that ideal way too often.

After my husband and I had a long, hard, but ultimately good talk last night about some issues we are struggling with in our marriage, I knew I had to get my thoughts on paper, mainly to bless my husband, but as therapy for myself as well.

To my love,

These are words I need to say more often, every day, probably several times a day.  I have a hard time getting them out, though.

  1. I’m sorry.  I don’t think I can ever say that enough.  For all the things I have done over the past 12 years that have hurt you and laid you low, I’m so, so very sorry.
  2. I love you more than you will ever know.  Ever!  I know I definitely need to say this more.
  3. You are the only one I want.  Ever!  You are the only one I want to walk through the muck and mire of life with.  It’s not fun wading through all the crap, but you are the one I want by my side.
  4. I love you!  (Did I already say that?  I think I need to say it again.)
  5. You surpass all others in being a great dad, especially considering you were one who never really wanted kids.  I look at how you deal with our boys, how you love them, how you discipline them, how you play with them, how you train them, and I am continually blessed that they have you for a dad.  I am confident they will look back on their childhood and realize what an amazing role model you have been for them (and will continue to be throughout their lives).
  6. Your rock-solid faith continually inspires, amazes, and blesses me.  Even in the middle of the pit you feel yourself in at times, you still cling to Christ.  I pity those husbands that do not have your faith, and I hurt for those wives who do not have husbands of such deep, firm faith.
  7. I want to grow young with you.  I want to be 80 years old, holding your hand on a porch swing someday as we look out at the world around us.  I want to live a peaceful, content life with you at my side.
  8. I need to change.  I will always be in a state of needing to change.  I will only stop needing to change when I am face-to-face with Jesus.  I need your patience and lots of grace during this process.
  9. Ninakupenda Mapenzi!
  10. For those of you who don’t understand Swahili, #9 is worth repeating in English:  I love you, my love!

Kelly

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16 responses

14 10 2010
miceliale

I like the verse inscribed on your wedding bands.

15 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Alex. It’s a pretty special verse to us.

14 10 2010
chasemor

This is so sweet! I love the verse as well.

15 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Morgan. I actually made a cross-stitch print of that verse, and we have it hanging in our living room.

14 10 2010
postonj

this is really beautiful. i’m sure your husband loved to read this.

15 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Jordyn. My husband told me it made his day. A few well-spoken words can go far. 🙂

14 10 2010
mistergunner

This is a great message and better inspiration for the future.

15 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Gunner. My goal is to always do better than I did the day before–whatever it may be.

15 10 2010
fosseer

great point. I feel like there are things that all of us need to say more often. This might be a good thing for everyone to do.

15 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Rosemary. Most people I know would benefit from telling someone “I love you” or “I’m sorry” or maybe hearing those words from someone else.

15 10 2010
Hunter Schleicher

It is always encouraging to be surrounded by people with strong faiths. This made me consider the things that I don’t do and say enough; I often take my parents and all they do for granted. Great post!

15 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Hunter. Tell your parents that tonight. You will make them very happy. 🙂

19 10 2010
Malone Wayland

I really enjoyed reading this post! Especially in today’s world, so many words are left unsaid. We never know which day will be our last, and I hurt for those who are not able to tell someone that they are sorry or that they love them.

19 10 2010
huddlestonk

Thanks Malone. Every day is precious, and life can change in an instant. I don’t want to look back with regret on missed opportunities to say “I love you” or “I’m sorry.”

20 10 2010
Nik Rodewald

That’s a great verse. Best of luck to you and your husband.

1 11 2010
Anonymous

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